can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
