Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize