I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
