I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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