I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
