you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
and she was petting her beer can
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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