I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
