not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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