I'm so fucking centered right now
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
