At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You dont lie about slip and slides
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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