Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize