Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
