please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
