It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
