I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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