Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
