Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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