I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
