I am in a vortex of obligation.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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