I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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