When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Enjoy the penises
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize