I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize