Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
