He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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