Me. At least after what I've been through.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
