I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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