"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
