I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
