i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
