i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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