you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
