I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
