So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
