he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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