The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
