is your mom at the bar?
You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
