are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
