Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
