if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
