so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize