Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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