i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
