I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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