I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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