I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
