I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
