The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
