Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
