He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
