let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
