So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
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Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
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I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You did what with his pubic hair?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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