Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This is my gift to your gina
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
why is half of my head shaved?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
