areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
