Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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