and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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