Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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