Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize