If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
