i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize