Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
