somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
