that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
