I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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