Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
