farters have to be the big spoon...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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