dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
