Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
