Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
